Adoptive Parents

The day will come it always does when they want to know more. Do you hold back or give freely. Hard choice and I doubt it will be the right one, never is. Especially if you are a control freak. As a child of adoption I know. My life as a child was less than perfect and I dreamed of the day I would meet my Mom. Or she would come in and save me. Every Mom on TV was my fantasy Mom. I think even today as I am grown and have children of my own I still think every now and again what a great Mom so and so would be. I guess all of us that have grown up without one for whatever reason feel the same way. I met my Mom about 11 years ago. I had a daughter of my own. She was not what I exspected to say the least. She ended up having all sorts of her own problems. No other children... not from lack of trying on her part. I asked my story and got a line of shit. I dug deep and came to my own conclusion. I was part of a scheme of intrapment that went bad and so now I was not only unneeded but also in the way. Easy enough go away and get rid of me. Adoption! The name of the game. I am not sour, because not only did I get a new set of parents that gave me away themselves, I did get many opportunities in life. One thing for sure if I change one thing in my past I must give up my present as I know it now and there is nothing that would make me want that. So back to my point.,... My Mom (biological refered to as the oven) is my friend. She wants more but there is no way. My parents no matter what in the past has happen are my parents. So all you adoptive parent rest assured no matter what your kids will always think of you as thier parents no matter how shitty you are to them, or great. They might have a stage of doubt but they will return. Lords knows if I did they will. My oven is dieing. It makes me sad. I think her desire to be a part of my life and the fact I have no respect for her makes her a really good sounding board and I can tell her all my problems and not give a shit what she thinks. My real Mom and Dad or the ones that raised me for awhile are great to me now but I never really can trust them completely. I know like if I decided to have yet another child without being married they would have a cow although I think they like my partner better than me. Parents are very confusing to say the least and I am sure without a doubt one day they will be saying something similar about me. Does anyone even read this blog anymore? I guess it doesn't matter, just a form of theropy I guess. You can always be honest with your blog.